No one has ever groveled like a parent with a screaming toddler on a plane. “Here’s pretzels. Have a cookie. Here’s a bag of sugar. Hey, I got an idea, let’s sing “Baby Shark.’ In fact, here’s Daddy’s iPhone; all yours! Whatever your heart desires, up to half the kingdom, is yours. Just stop screaming!”
Janice opens the cupboard, pulls out a black top hat, sticks her hand into it and yells “Abracadabra!” then pulls out a hot, nutritionally balanced meal neatly arranged on a plate.
“How did you do that!?”
“What? This? It’s just some leftovers I threw together.”
At this point, her tiny toothbrush probably has more germs on it than the toilet brush. Of course, since all she has is baby teeth, they’ll fall out anyway. It’s like nature’s dentist. “Hey kid, you ruined your first pair of teeth, but here are some new teeth. Try again.”
Of course, you can’t just get any ointment, it has to be infant safe with all natural coloring and zero corn syrup. This makes the price go up about $10 an ounce. Wait, isn’t the infant formula more diluted? How is it more expensive!?
Quickly and easily learn to speak like Adilene, our 16 month old daughter, with this comprehensive guide.