Flying with Toddlers & the Depravity of Mankind

No one has ever groveled like a parent with a screaming toddler on a plane. “Here’s pretzels. Have a cookie. Here’s a bag of sugar. Hey, I got an idea, let’s sing “Baby Shark.’ In fact, here’s Daddy’s iPhone; all yours! Whatever your heart desires, up to half the kingdom, is yours. Just stop screaming.”

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Mommy’s Superpowers

Janice opens the cupboard, pulls out a black top hat, sticks her hand into it and yells “Abracadabra!” then pulls out a hot, nutritionally balanced meal neatly arranged on a plate.

“How did you do that!?”

“What? This? It’s just some leftovers I threw together.”

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Good Habits & Bad Habits

At this point, her tiny toothbrush probably has more germs on it than the toilet brush. Of course, since all she has is baby teeth, they’ll fall out anyway. It’s like nature’s dentist. “Hey kid, you ruined your first pair of teeth, but here are some new teeth. Try again.”

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Josh’s Jungle Guide to the Toddler Species

Click here to get notified of new blogs by email! You may wake up at 5:32 am one Saturday morning to blood curdling screaming in the other room. You dash across the hallway to assess the situation and find a small size person, approximately 1/6 the size of a normal adult who is apparently unhappy.…

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