I still had one problem, though. I don't know karate well enough to split trees with my hands so I needed a chainsaw. I assumed I could find a cheap pile of smoking mechanical rubble, nurse it back to health, and only be set back a couple of bucks. I was shocked to see how expensive a good chainsaw is!
One thing I learned about pregnant women, or pregnant Janice's at least, is that they have superhuman smelling. A bloodhound could have his nose down to the ground, sniffing for all he's worth and not picking up any scents whatsoever. My wife would come along, take one light sniff, and then point the bloodhound in the right direction, "That way, stupid."