No one has ever groveled like a parent with a screaming toddler on a plane. “Here’s pretzels. Have a cookie. Here’s a bag of sugar. Hey, I got an idea, let’s sing “Baby Shark.’ In fact, here’s Daddy’s iPhone; all yours! Whatever your heart desires, up to half the kingdom, is yours. Just stop screaming!” … Continue reading Flying with Toddlers & the Depravity of Mankind
Janice opens the cupboard, pulls out a black top hat, sticks her hand into it and yells "Abracadabra!" then pulls out a hot, nutritionally balanced meal neatly arranged on a plate. "How did you do that!?" "What? This? It's just some leftovers I threw together."
At this point, her tiny toothbrush probably has more germs on it than the toilet brush. Of course, since all she has is baby teeth, they'll fall out anyway. It's like nature's dentist. "Hey kid, you ruined your first pair of teeth, but here are some new teeth. Try again."
Of course, you can’t just get any ointment, it has to be infant safe with all natural coloring and zero corn syrup. This makes the price go up about $10 an ounce. Wait, isn’t the infant formula more diluted? How is it more expensive!?
Yesterday my family and I visited the Potawatomi Zoo. It's a place that inspires the imagination, especially when you try to spell the name. It's in South Bend which is only about 38 minutes and 43 seconds from our house. It was a perfect 75 degree day and the van had a full tank of … Continue reading Visiting the Potawatomi Zoo (& a few innovative zoo ideas of my own)
Some people build cathedral like nurseries for their babies, inspired by the best and brightest ideas that Pinterest has to offer. They equip the room with inspirational banners reminding the baby to participate in "Sweet Dreams" and they adorn the walls with artful Bible verses admonishing the baby in the way it should go. I … Continue reading If You’re Happy & You Know It… Sing This Song Again