We’re really excited to finally be able to meet the little bun in the oven that Janice has been working on for the last nine months! Just like an actual … Continue reading Introducing Elliot Adrian Snader
When God calls you to do something, He generally doesn’t descend in a cloud of smoke and fire and hand you a map etched in stone. Sometimes it would be … Continue reading Fumbling Footsteps of Faith; The Story of our Calling
“How’s it going?” I asked hopefully to anyone in the room. Janice gasped, grimaced, and glared at me. Hilda huffed. Matilda puffed. They just ignored me. Ignoring the husband is standard practice in the maternity ward and probably a smart thing to do.
It’s a little bit like performing an ice skating routine while twirling a manatee over your head. It’s involves a lot of arms and legs, cartwheeling, grunting, yelling, and laughing (the laughter comes mostly from the onlookers).
“I hear sizzling too.” I looked down and quickly realized it was just my white toes burning in the Florida sunshine. I smiled. “It’s great to be warm again, isn’t it?”
Now, you may think that bolts aren’t capable of making crude gestures but experience tells me different. At times I’m tempted to return the favor but again, that’s not what missionary mechanics are supposed to do. I think bolts may be the most crude of all auto parts; except for water pumps, obviously.
I should learn to try new and strange things. Rubbing my teeth with charcoal met both criteria. I took a generous helping on tooth brush and vigorously applied it to every corner of my mouth. I looked in the mirror. It looked like a had guzzled five quarts of motor oil.
The other day I was walking past the oven. Janice had something sizzling on the stove top. Suddenly a loud bang echoed through the house which caused Janice to scream. I calmly jumped four feet in the air and assumed a defensive karate position.
Janice does hate raccoons. In fact, her hatred for raccoons is what got us in a relationship in the first place.
We just got back from ANOTHER trip to Pennsylvania and it’s good to be home even though being at home means sitting on a crooked toilet. I call it the “Leaning Tower of Pot” but I’m reconsidering the title because marijuana is legal in Michigan and I’m afraid people may get the wrong idea.
I still had one problem, though. I don’t know karate well enough to split trees with my hands so I needed a chainsaw. I assumed I could find a cheap pile of smoking mechanical rubble, nurse it back to health, and only be set back a couple of bucks. I was shocked to see how expensive a good chainsaw is!
No one has ever groveled like a parent with a screaming toddler on a plane. “Here’s pretzels. Have a cookie. Here’s a bag of sugar. Hey, I got an idea, let’s sing “Baby Shark.’ In fact, here’s Daddy’s iPhone; all yours! Whatever your heart desires, up to half the kingdom, is yours. Just stop screaming!”